Gasoline

HERE ARE THE STRAIGHT FACTS:
We have been spending a lot of time at our "new house" a.k.a my parents current house, painting.

Yesterday we spent the day there.

In the afternoon, I took Remy and Jack to swimming. 

Then we returned to the house. 

I did not shower them after swimming.

I planned to shower them at home at night.

Remy fell on some piece of furniture while we were leaving my parents house.

Baths/Showers never happened last night.


My day today started like most others.

Nate woke up around 6 am.

Jack slept "late" and woke up at 6:30ish.

Remy slept "really late" and woke up at 7:30ish.

SO:
Because the kids were badly in need of a cleaning and time was short until they had to be at school, I decided to have them shower and I would drive them to school.  At that point, I had NO idea how crazy those simple tasks would be. blag

HERE IS WHERE THE STORY KICKS IN:
While I get breakfast ready for Remy, I ask Jack to get in the shower.  He can handle this on his own at this point.  He forgot to get the towel ready, but this is a regular occurrence so at some point I peeked in and noticed he had no towel and I put one out. 

Walk back to the table, Remy is eating.  Look over at Nate, he seems to be playing in the kitchen.  Smooth sailing.

I go in and get Remy's clothes ready.  Usually, she does not allow me to pick her clothes, but I decide to give it a try.  Walk back to the table and show her.  She says "Good!".  Approved outfit.  Wonderful!

Jack gets out of the shower.  Gets his backpack packed.  Socks on. 

Nate is still playing in kitchen.  Man, he is being good, I think.

Remy gets in shower pretty easily.  She doesn't really like showers and prefers baths but no time this morning.  No breakdowns.  I am giddy at this point.  I still have to help her wash her hair so I stand outside the shower and put the soap in.

At this point, my back is slightly...yes slightly...turned. 

Nate is in the bathroom with us.  I turn around and notice he is brushing his hair.  Fine, I think.

I turn back to Remy.  Suds are out.  I apply the conditioner.  Again, turning my back ever so slightly.  Rinse conditioner.

Turn back to check on Nate and notice he is still combing his hair.  His hair looks extremely wet.  And is sticking straight up in the air.  Strange, I think.

I ask Remy if she is all set.  Yes- all set.

I move over to Nate for a closer look.  He is brushing Vaseline through his hair!  I flash back to earlier when I applied Vaseline to Jacks extremely dry face.  I remember that I did not remove it from reach.

I think to myself, Oh man, another crazy Nate thing.  I think I'll take a quick picture and add it to my blog.  For fun, I even have Jack come in and take a look at Nate's crazy hair.  We laugh.  Remy gets out of the shower.  She laughs.

We finish packing up.  Make sure bus is gone so we can back out of the driveway without hitting kids.  Check.  Get coats on.  Look for keys.  Look for keys again. 

Remember that Jay drove minivan home from long day of painting yesterday and figure he must have put the keys somewhere.  Call Jay on train.  Get explanation that he is "95% sure that keys are on the kitchen island.  If not, check green coat pocket."

Check both places.  No keys.  Call Jay two more times.  He is not pleased.  He says he thinks Nate took them.  I explain that I didn't have Nate up near the kitchen counter this morning. Still no closer to finding keys.  Curse myself for not looking BEFORE the bus left.  Curse myself again for not showering the kids last night.  Decide I have no more time to curse myself.

I cant call Jay one more time without causing irreparable damage but I cant decide if he is actually so sure the keys were at the kitchen island.  He said only 95%" sure.  There is always that 5%.  I decide I need to determine if he was wrong about where he put them or if once again, Nate was to blame. 

I go outside to check the van.  Its totally locked.  This is a sure sign that Nate had the keys.  His favorite thing to do is lock the car doors.  Jay never locks the car doors.

I decide to get down on my knees, Nate height, to look for the keys.  There they are, in a strainer. (For the photo I moved them a little.  Actually, I left and drove the kids to school.  Then put the keys in for a photo for all you readers.  But the point is, believe me, they were hard to find.)

I load everyone in the car- no time to warm it- and drive them to school freezing to death along the way.  The story doesn't end here my friends.  Oh no, this is just the beginning.

I go home and decide I must wash Nate and take care of the grease on his head.  I bathe him.  I shampoo him no less than 5 times.  His hair looks terrible.  I think maybe it will dry better.  I take him out and dress him.  I give him a snack.  I cant look at his hair a minute longer.  It looks worse than ever.

Bath #1

I go online and research "Ways to remove Vaseline from hair".  I get lots of suggestions.  I decide I must bathe him again and try some.  I try egg.  I try applying baby oil.  I am convinced that was a cruel joke that someone posted.  His hair turns out greasy from Vaseline plus baby oil and is sort of fly-away.  What the ????

I decide I have to remove him.  Maybe it will dry better, I think, once again.  This time it dries crunchy and crazy and greasy all in one.  Oh and fly-away. 

Jay calls to check if I ever found the keys.  I confirm that Nate had them.  I don't know how he got them from the island.  I explain that I am on to the next major issue.  Also Nate related.

Jay thinks this is very funny.  He also does some online research.  He assures me that corn starch will be the key.  I use it.  I bathe Nate again.  It seems promising at first but no go.  The only help is now his hair isn't as stiff.

My friend calls to invite us over.  I disclose Nate's current condition.  She says she doesn't mind.  We go over.  She thinks he just got out of the bath.  No, I say, that is what his hair is like from the Vaseline.  She instinctively touches it.  She immediately reaches for something to wipe her hand.  Its worse than she thought.

We forget about the hair for awhile and just hang out.  After school gets out, I take the kids to the store.  More online research confirms that Burts Bees Mint body wash is the trick.  Also, coke and detergent.  Not willing to try the detergent but get the other two.

Take Nate home and give him his FORTH bath of the day.  Who knows what hair wash we are on.  I apply the Burts Bees and rinse it out with Coke.  Nate, who had been cooperative for the other three baths, is quickly losing his patience.  I don't know what I will do if this doesn't work. 

Remy decides to watch.  She cant believe I am putting Coke in Nate's hair.

The test.  I take him out and dry him off.  I dry his hair with the towel.  It is much  much less greasy than before.  I even see a little curl in spots.  It worked!  I am so happy.  I decided that two baths from now, we will probably be Vaseline free.  Wonderful.

I turn my back.  Nate decides to climb the chair and listen to music.  I age ten more years. 

BTW- The title is based on the fact that everyone thought I was saying that he put "Gasoline" in his hair.  Which obviously would have been much worse.  It also helped me get through the day thinking "It could be worse.  It could be gasoline."

Vaseline...Not Gasoline!